session
On tuesday at 1830h went to Allez Boo for a few beers... people from the day before (a girl from London Victoria and a Canadian man)... Canadian man was going round scaring various people at the bar away -- thats normally my job. Also in this first phase was some teacher chick who had done teacher training in Woking a few years ago - she'd arrived a few hours before and like the sensible girl she was headed immediately out on a small tour of the local bars. Eventually the Canadian mysteriously vanished, teacher girl headed off to sleep and victoria girl decided she wanted a snickers bar and wandered off into the night to find one.
Under lid of each bottle of Tiger beer is text which may or may not indicate that a prize has been won -- two days previously (sunday), I'd got one with a picture of some kind of keychain lighter/torch but they'd told me to come back later. So I'd gone in on Monday and ended up giving barmaid Tien lots of shit about her refusal to give me a prize - so she took bottle cap from me and said she would bring prize back tomorrow (tuesday, the day of this story...). "Ha ha," I thought to myself, "that's the last I'll see of that"; but Tien turned up mid evening and handed over my prize - a white LED keychain torch powered by three watch batteries... hurrah!
I was getting ready to go home and sleep, when a Frenchman appeared at the bar and started downing shots of whiskey, wildwest stylee - him drinking shot, bar girl standing in front of him with open whiskey bottle re-filling his glass immediately. After 12 shots, he stopped to pay and discovered that he had insufficient funds... wandered off into the night to "get some more" which we all assumed meant he was gone forever. But ten minutes or so later, he reappeared, payed and continued to drink. He was trying to make friends with a Vietnamese girl from Hanoi who was also drinking at the bar, but getting progressively less able to. Eventually he took a break from the girl and issued a liquid yawn all over the floor at our feet (thankfully, he missed me and my possessions -- it seems the french have better aim than the russians). Barmaid Tien asked me if I speak french and to make him go home. The vietnamese girl and I dragged him into the lavatory where he coughs up some more and then took him out into the street and back to his hotel (luckily he could remember where it was, and luckily it was only three doors down), which is all locked up for the night -- we ring on the bell and the vietnamese girl talks to the night watchmen (I presume something like "we've found this drunken frenchman who claims to live here"). A phone call was made and a frenchwoman appeared from upstairs - most displeased that she had been disturbed to collect her friend; also not sure if it was appreciated that he kept trying to kiss the vietnamese girl on the neck in front of her. I dragged him upstairs and deposited him in bed...
Back to the bar where my beer and Lonely Planet were still waiting for me, along with boys from Epsom... around 0300h the bar switched into half-closed mode -- almost all the only people left were all at the bar, leaving the table area to the rats (big big motherfuckers scavenging for leftovers). As I was walking out the door, I somehow ended up sitting down with two mongolians, brother and sister of each other (both live in HCMC, it seems)... eventually the staff also left, turning off the lights, leaving only a night watchman who kept telling us to leave in Vietnamese which we ignored... through the shutters that had been closed across the
windows we ordered coffee from some street vendor outside... around 0800h the morning shift staff arrived, and we got the first order in for breakfast (before they were open, but as we were already seated they didn't turn us down (at least the second waiter we asked didn't)). Pancake, croissant, ham and cheese omlette... mmm. Around 10am I was invited back to house of the girl, where the three of us sat drinking (a crate purchased from the shop over the road was delivered right into the kitchen by one of the shop workers), eating, hanging out with some other mongolians (boxers or wrestlers or something... can't remember), until 1600h when I had to leave to get my passport -- hopped on the back of a motorbike taxi, still feeling as if it was early tuesday evening, got passport (6 mo, multi entry, more than I'd asked for) and took same bike back to hotel, where the female staff of the hotel and attached travel agent crowded round me to find out why I hadn't returned last night (they all knew I hadn't been back). Then to bed, up at 0340 to puke, shower, pack and get to airport for an 0700h flight to Hue, where I am now.
Under lid of each bottle of Tiger beer is text which may or may not indicate that a prize has been won -- two days previously (sunday), I'd got one with a picture of some kind of keychain lighter/torch but they'd told me to come back later. So I'd gone in on Monday and ended up giving barmaid Tien lots of shit about her refusal to give me a prize - so she took bottle cap from me and said she would bring prize back tomorrow (tuesday, the day of this story...). "Ha ha," I thought to myself, "that's the last I'll see of that"; but Tien turned up mid evening and handed over my prize - a white LED keychain torch powered by three watch batteries... hurrah!
I was getting ready to go home and sleep, when a Frenchman appeared at the bar and started downing shots of whiskey, wildwest stylee - him drinking shot, bar girl standing in front of him with open whiskey bottle re-filling his glass immediately. After 12 shots, he stopped to pay and discovered that he had insufficient funds... wandered off into the night to "get some more" which we all assumed meant he was gone forever. But ten minutes or so later, he reappeared, payed and continued to drink. He was trying to make friends with a Vietnamese girl from Hanoi who was also drinking at the bar, but getting progressively less able to. Eventually he took a break from the girl and issued a liquid yawn all over the floor at our feet (thankfully, he missed me and my possessions -- it seems the french have better aim than the russians). Barmaid Tien asked me if I speak french and to make him go home. The vietnamese girl and I dragged him into the lavatory where he coughs up some more and then took him out into the street and back to his hotel (luckily he could remember where it was, and luckily it was only three doors down), which is all locked up for the night -- we ring on the bell and the vietnamese girl talks to the night watchmen (I presume something like "we've found this drunken frenchman who claims to live here"). A phone call was made and a frenchwoman appeared from upstairs - most displeased that she had been disturbed to collect her friend; also not sure if it was appreciated that he kept trying to kiss the vietnamese girl on the neck in front of her. I dragged him upstairs and deposited him in bed...
Back to the bar where my beer and Lonely Planet were still waiting for me, along with boys from Epsom... around 0300h the bar switched into half-closed mode -- almost all the only people left were all at the bar, leaving the table area to the rats (big big motherfuckers scavenging for leftovers). As I was walking out the door, I somehow ended up sitting down with two mongolians, brother and sister of each other (both live in HCMC, it seems)... eventually the staff also left, turning off the lights, leaving only a night watchman who kept telling us to leave in Vietnamese which we ignored... through the shutters that had been closed across the
windows we ordered coffee from some street vendor outside... around 0800h the morning shift staff arrived, and we got the first order in for breakfast (before they were open, but as we were already seated they didn't turn us down (at least the second waiter we asked didn't)). Pancake, croissant, ham and cheese omlette... mmm. Around 10am I was invited back to house of the girl, where the three of us sat drinking (a crate purchased from the shop over the road was delivered right into the kitchen by one of the shop workers), eating, hanging out with some other mongolians (boxers or wrestlers or something... can't remember), until 1600h when I had to leave to get my passport -- hopped on the back of a motorbike taxi, still feeling as if it was early tuesday evening, got passport (6 mo, multi entry, more than I'd asked for) and took same bike back to hotel, where the female staff of the hotel and attached travel agent crowded round me to find out why I hadn't returned last night (they all knew I hadn't been back). Then to bed, up at 0340 to puke, shower, pack and get to airport for an 0700h flight to Hue, where I am now.
posted by Ben Clifford at 03:32 GMT
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